Disclaimer :- Bloggers are liable to the content they publish and therefore, I will use some easily guessable monikers to save my behind. Besides, I hate to ‘hurt’ public sentiments..!
The Goonda of all Goondas ,
The Führer of Bombay oops, Mumbai, The King of the Great Warrior Clan- The SS (what an apt acronym!), To the Great Remote Control wielding Tiger, Beholder of our destinies... I prostrate myself before you..!!
I am Ayyappan Pillai. I am a nobody. An Indian by Citizenship, Tamilian by birth and a Maharashtrian by domicile. I hate to disturb your afternoon siesta by writing this letter about a trifling issue. But these Middle-Class values just don’t seem to die.
Not long ago, your Son was talking about how he needed to change the image of violence attached with the SS and how he needed to work in the rural pockets of Maharashtra and gain their trust as well. I heard him extolling the benefits of welfarist politics and about resorting to the SS’s original ‘80% Social Work and 20% Politics’ motto. Well, he is not the first politician to do a volte-face nor would he be the last, but your Son had briefly won my admiration and a silent acceptance. But now, He seems determined to wrench your political legacy (Of Hatred, Violence and Intimidation) from your nephew.
I can, therefore, understand the ‘Patriotism’ behind your Son’s opposition to the Pakistani players taking part the IPL. And everyone knows your penchant for digging up pitches and the Government also took your threat to poop on the seats seriously. But even I, your most ardent fan, was pleasantly surprised to know that you always were referring to the seats of the movie theatres. What a ruckus it created, Sir! Every newspaper was lauding your parochial politics. We always knew that the Khan was always a loudmouth, and a migrant loudmouth at that. The exercise proved beneficial for the both of you sir, The Khan’s movie became a raging hit and your Party’s sagging fortunes were revived.
I was also pleasantly surprised when you opposed the inclusion of Australian Players in the IPL as their countrymen were guilty of beating up the citizens of our country. Well, that sounded a bit rich coming from you Sir, as you have beaten more of our Countrymen than the Aussies ever will..! Besides, an IPL without the Pakistanis, The Australians, The Bhaiyyas, Muslims and the Madrasis would no longer be the (I)PL, perhaps you should rename it as well..!!
You claim to speak for the Marathis and the Maharashtrians but you seem to have targeted the most prominent and loved Marathis. Would you allow Sachin to play in Bombay, because Sachin is also guilty of being an Indian. And Sachin has made the Marathis and more so The Indians, more proud that you can ever!! He too, is guilty of bringing Bombay to a standstill by smashing the Aussies but the difference was that Bombay was always too thrilled to stop – And watch Sachin bat..!
At a time, when the whole world is moving forward at a dizzying pace, Sir, you with your parochial politics, are doing no good for the people of Maharashtra. Rather than scaring away the investor or bullying them with frivolous demands like Marathi signboards, we should find ways to woo them. Look at Mr. Modi, once he too indulged in exploiting people’s fear but soon he realised that it serves only a limited purpose. Setting up the odd Vada-Pav stall would do no good for the Marathi Manoos or to the state’s economy. It’s high time you realise that Bombay is in Maharashtra and not otherwise..!!
- Ek Maharastrian Manoos