You know you work at a Call Centre when...

 

1. When ‘First Shift’ means going to work at 5.30 in the evening.

2. When you find that you’re more familiar with the 50 states of the U.S. than our 28 states. (Or is it 29 states)

3. When you say that you had a ‘good night sleep’ and you actually mean that you slept from 6.00AM to 4.00PM.

4.  When you say your name and your company’s name at the beginning of every call and still get asked ‘Who’s this and what company are you calling from?’

5. When you compare your company’s hold music with that of other companies’.

6. Everytime your phone rings, you have an inexplicable desire to put  on headphones.

7. When your Manager calls for a meeting everytime he feels lonely.

8.  When you’ve mastered the art of twiddling your pen, using the keyboard, waving at your friends and of course, talking with the customer at the same time.

9. When your Manager calls the above activities ‘Multai-tasking’ when he really means Multi-tasking.

10. When you pronounce ‘Zed’ as ‘Zee’

11. When you discuss the climate of Florida and that of Arizona as if it’s really in your backyard

12. When you regularly get called by something other than your name.

13. When you're more comfortable with a Coffee vending machine than a real coffee boy.

14. When every other person you meet tells you conspiratorially that he just wants to get out of this industry and that he ‘just isn’t interested in making a career in this industry.’

16. When you know that B stands for Bravo and not Bombay and though you know what L stands for, you don’t even have a clue as to what ‘Lima’ actually is!

Pressure or no pressure…

This is inspired from reading the newspaper this morning. (Perhaps it’s one of the ways of overcoming a blogger’s block!)

Well, it was about the ongoing SSC admissions that have finally begun after an eternity of waiting. A whopping 13500 students scored 90% or more this year compared to Karnataka’s 7000 odd whereas UP and Bihar have 2 and 4 students scoring more than 90%. Andhra Pradesh leads the pack with 140,000 students crossing the coveted threshold. During my school days, there wasn’t even a single student in 15 years who had breached the 90% mark but now the smarty’s list at school is inundated with ninety percenters. This is so reminiscent of the ‘.com’ or the 'stock exchange’ bubble. This is also a bubble waiting to be burst.

While the parents of the super kids would be gloating over the success of their kids, little do they realise that their kids might find it very difficult to end up in colleges of their choice despite having scored so heavily in the examinations. One can’t blame the Kids for that because it seems that the entire state is scoring in the 90s now-a-days. By the time the kids get a grasp of what’s happening they are already past school and doing something they don’t want to do.

What’s more ironical about this ‘90% era’ is the increasing number of protests about the pressure of studying in a school or the weight of a school bag. When we were in school we used to carry the same number of books and the teachers used to spank as well. And the State hadn’t started the much anticipated dumbing down processes as well.

However, there is no denying the fact that there is more pressure on the students now than ever before. However, the source of this pressure is rarely due to a heavy bag or a ‘strict’ teacher, it is more often than not the Parents themselves. Nowadays, kids are enrolled in everything possible right from Hindustani Classical Singing to Salsa, Cricket and Acting classes. Mostly, just to assuage a wealthy Parent’s ego.

Rarely do we see kids chasing butterflies. Or dreams. And that’s the real problem.

A Rakhi on the table...

As Indians, we have some festival or the other everyday. After all, we have 33 crore Gods to appease not to forget a Jesus and an Allah. There have been so many instances where someone walks upto to me and says that today is So-and-So festival.
And all I can manage is a bewildered, ‘Huh?’ And this expression does little to hide my ignorance.
Living in Bombay, or ‘The Great Ruined Metropolis’ as Salman Rushdie would say, has it’s own pitfalls. Festivals have lost their zing. Many have been reduced to mere holidays. Tomorrow is one of the most beautiful festivals – Raksha Bandhan!
On the day of Raksha Bandhan, the Sister ties a Rakhi (Holy thread)on the wrist of her brother. The Brother, in return, gives her a gift and vows to protect her. It is one of the few festivals in India that transcend the boundaries of religion because people of every religion seem to have siblings.
My memories of Raksha Bandhan will always be special. I remember, as a Kid, my sisters used to wait till I woke up and bathed fresh. They would then tie beautiful Rakhis and in return, I would give them 10 Rupees each. (Dad used to leave them on the table for me.) All day, I would strut around brandishing my Rakhis.
          
         What made me blog about Raksha Bandhan today was the fact that Mum had gone to my Sister’s place and She came back with a Rakhi which I am supposed to tie on my wrist tomorrow. By myself. My Sister lives in Bombay, which incidentally happens to be the city that I live in!  My other sister is settled abroad, She sent me a Rakhi by post once. I doubt if she would even message tomorrow. She wouldn’t even know that it is Raksha Bandhan tomorrow. We are bound by our personal commitments which has led the once inseparable siblings lead disjointed lives.
      As I write this, I see my Rakhi for tomorrow lying on the table in it’s plastic wrapping. Mum will tie the Rakhi.I am reminded of how my sisters used to hide the Rakhis so that I could not see what they looked like. I am reminded of all the fun and all the silly jokes we cracked at 1.00 in the morning. I wish life had a rewind button..! I so wish.. :(