Sunday, October 4, 2009

When Karan kowtowed…

                        Bombay_dogs_animated_movie

 

               Karan Johar is indeed a lucky chap that I am busy with my examinations. He is a great director and I love his movies because they so wonderfully espouse the Indian values and demonstrate to the world the greatness of the Indian culture. Though his last movie was a preposterous story about adultery and independent women, I liked it because both make good fiction. I was keen to watch his new movie, Wake Up Sid. But I won’t be watching it now.

Not because my friend said that it was a terrible movie, but because Karan Johar, with this movie, showed how ungrateful he could be to the city that gave him everything. Calling the city by it’s colonial name is sacrilege. The mere mention of the dreaded word, Bombay brings into mind hideous memories of our terribly secular, cosmopolitan, inclusive, spinster-like past. Bombay was a city riddled with problems. Slums, People, Women, Muslims, Madrasis, Stray Dogs etc. defiled the city. Our Beloved Leader had redeemed us and had solved our problems with one move. He renamed the city, and Bombay was gone! We were given a new city to live in. Since then, we have seen so many concrete steps (pun inserted by accident) being taken to prevent influx of poor people into the city. Barring the occasional bomb blast or the accidental flood, we have seen virtually no crime save a few rapes and some silly murders.

In fact, Mumbai is looking forward to a great future. We have just inaugurated the costliest bridge in all of Asia (by way of toll costs too) . We consume the least power in the country (As we don’t have it for the better part of the day!) Our airport (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj International Airport) is undergoing renovation, so is our railway station (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus) and our museum (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vaastu Sanghralaya) is already a Grade I heritage structure. In some years, we will have a statue of Maharaj in the middle of the Arabian sea. It is rumoured to be taller than the Statue of Liberty itself. Contrary to popular perception, it is not a lavish indulgence on part of the Government, but it is a clever ploy to attract more tourists from the sea. (Accidental pun # 2)

Coming back to the main topic, that ungrateful Karan Johar will lose out on Rs.160 as I am not going to watching a movie which ‘hurt’ my sentiments. Besides, the entire movie does not feature a single Marathi actor and the dialogue writer was some South Indian half-wit who dared to refer to Mumbai as Bombay. Do we call his city Madras or Trivandrum?

Our Tiger Cub saved Karan Johar from our Beloved Leader’s wrath and Karan Johar rightfully paid obeisance to Mr. Cub and accepted his mistake. Cub Sir has dared people to use the tabooed word again and face dire consequences! Chota Cub Sir though, studies in Bombay Scottish. Cruel twist of fate.

Cub Sir’s secret obsession is to rename Bombay Times, the only problem is that they are too powerful for Cub Sir’s liking!!

20 Grumblings:

Nics said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Punit Arekar said...

ekdum zakas ahe
marmavar bot thevlas gadya
avadla aplyalaa

The Ancient Mariner said...

haha.... had never a good opinion bout KJO...and now he proved, like his movies, he sucks too!







































sometimes deep!

ketki said...

"I love his movies because they so wonderfully espouse the Indian values and demonstrate to the world the greatness of the Indian culture."

sarcasm at its best!

ketki said...

Wow! u made look like an idiot to say tht one shdnt write on such explosive issues...
and i m glad u did!

Sikander Fayyaz Khan said...

Why don't they change the city's name to Shivaji Maharaj etc etc?

Sikander Fayyaz Khan said...

Ayyo, I suggest you change your name too. Your name sounds a bit too non marathi for my [I know you know what I mean by my] liking.

Anchal said...

Great Tone yaar.....
I believe Mr. cub should understand that merely calling Mumbai as Bombay is not insulting the state What according to me insults state is that when Mr. cub has Rs.400 crore to buy kohinoor mills, drive lexus, merc-benz has everything & on the other side of the picture many people dont have food to eat, clothes to wear & place to live. Farmers commiting suicide. But who cares; calling Mumbai as Bombay is a much more serious issue because elections approaching, you need to be in the eyes of media & public & make them believe that you will bring a change.....

nitin said...

Mr Cub would be delighted to know he has added yet another tiger to his burgeoning army :P

nice write-up... delightful sarcasm!

kunwar said...

Wow Ayyo Bhai...First in your status....ur just blasting Raj arent you?

I liked this post of urs :D Couldnt stop Laughing...

As u said...
India is a free country until and unless you offend Cub Sire :P

Nics said...

Now now, you shouldn't be so harsh against Karan Johar. He belongs to the genteel, the a la creme layer of the society! They don't fancy tarnishing their reputations by associating with riff raff of this sort. He would rather not jump in the muck and challenge humans who have the genetic code of the 'Cub'! :D
Nevertheless, brilliant post written. Good sarcasm! I don't know if you intended it but you used the word 'Kowtowed' which starts with a 'K'; the letter which KJO considers auspicious! For all you know, you mite bring him good luck! :D :D

ayyo.... said...

@Punit
Toch prayatna kela hota!! :D


@Ankan
Sucks deep it seems..!! :D


@Ketki
Thanks!! I need to tell you more about it though..!!

@Sikander
Naah! The city has already been renamed once..!!
About my name.. I wish I was a Marathi.. :(
I would have lampooned them!!

ayyo.... said...

@Anchal
What you said is true..!! This is a non issue but it has been raked up because of the elections!!
Talking about Kohinoor mills, the Mills have taken away thousands of jobs.. I hope Cub Sir reserves 80% positions in his mall for Marathis..!

P.S. One of his partners is incidentally a North Indian..!

ayyo.... said...

@Nitin
Yeah, a new Tiger it seems..!! :D

@Kunwar
Yeah, I against this kind of politics..!!
I hate it when people put a language before the state and when people put the state before the Nation..!!

ayyo.... said...

@Nicol
Don't read my post as anti Karan..!! My post is against a particular breed of cats!
And what Karan did was delightful! He did not allow them to gain political mileage out of a non issue! Though in the heart of his hearts, it must've killed him to apologize to a goon and worse, give in to The Goon's whims!!

Finally, you're the only one who noticed my subtle choice for the title..!! No one can doubt you genius sir!! :)

ketki said...

"I need to tell you more about it though..!!"
was the sarcasm intended or was it accidental? :X

ayyo.... said...

@Ketki
Hahah!! The sarcasm was intended but I expected you to pounce upon me because of the next sentence..!! :D

//Though his last movie was a preposterous story about adultery and independent women, I liked it because both make good fiction.//


:D :D
And I am no MCP, I'm just an honest bloke!! :)

Arjuns World said...

i didnt get a clue:(will read again and try:)

ayyo.... said...

@Meera
Karan Johar referred to Mumbai as Bombay in his new movie Wake Up Sid. It caused a furore here as you are not supposed to call Bombay as Bombay..!! :D

Meera's World said...

Really???I always says Madras and Bombay even now!I hope i would remember this and will never utter the word Bombay,if at all i stop by Bombay sometime,ops Mumbay;)