I am going through one of those phases in life where nothing ever goes right. This is more in context to The Office. We are out of training and it is time to perform. It is needless to say that I am not making my Trainer proud by my performance. My performance is so pathetic that often I wonder how The Company hasn’t issued a troll alert against my name yet. That hasn’t lifted my spirits, in fact my dispiritedness has been augmented by the fact that two of my best buddies have outperformed everybody by a margin and it makes me stick out like a sore thumb between them. What hardly helps matters is that the only guy who could’ve matched my troll-ishness has left the company. So now I am lonely as well. And I have all the more reason to miss him.
When The Trainer appraises us of our performance and reminds me what a moron I have been, I look around to see the Winners look at me with surprise at my inability to meet such a ridiculously easy target. I then turn to fellow morons who try to alleviate my embarrassment by attributing the Winners’ performance entirely to luck.
Today, I was pretty worked up to do something at The Office. I had to endure another of The Trainer’s motivational speeches last night. If not for anything else, I wanted to do well so that I could escape my trainer’s accidental brushes with intelligence.
I managed to do well until Miss Shanghai called up. Miss Shanghai was on a three way call with Miss 1942 and wanted me to help Miss 1942 place an order. I was in a great mood and I went out of the way to help her place the order. After all, good customer service is my forte! Once I had finished placing the order, I was required to read a set of disclosures. I went through them blithely. Miss 1942 was in a hurry. I had to coax her to sit and listen to my blabbering as she was required to accept them. I tried to be as good humoured as possible. Finally, I was through with them and I was smiling broadly for having done an excellent job! I finally wouldn’t have to bear with The Trainer’s droning at the end of the day!
I was just about to pat my back, when I hear Miss Shanghai’s voice over the phone. Apparently, they continued talking and were unaware of my presence.
“Whew, We’re done finally! He took a long time..!” said Miss Shanghai.
“Yeah, and I wonder why, of all the people in the world only I had to endure this moron?” Replied Miss 1942. And she went on to perform a very nasty imitation of me.
And if you would have seen the expression on my face then, you could have seen what a deflating tyre looks like!! :D