When Karan kowtowed…

                       

 

               Karan Johar is indeed a lucky chap that I am busy with my examinations. He is a great director and I love his movies because they so wonderfully espouse the Indian values and demonstrate to the world the greatness of the Indian culture. Though his last movie was a preposterous story about adultery and independent women, I liked it because both make good fiction. I was keen to watch his new movie, Wake Up Sid. But I won’t be watching it now.

Not because my friend said that it was a terrible movie, but because Karan Johar, with this movie, showed how ungrateful he could be to the city that gave him everything. Calling the city by it’s colonial name is sacrilege. The mere mention of the dreaded word, Bombay brings into mind hideous memories of our terribly secular, cosmopolitan, inclusive, spinster-like past. Bombay was a city riddled with problems. Slums, People, Women, Muslims, Madrasis, Stray Dogs etc. defiled the city. Our Beloved Leader had redeemed us and had solved our problems with one move. He renamed the city, and Bombay was gone! We were given a new city to live in. Since then, we have seen so many concrete steps (pun inserted by accident) being taken to prevent influx of poor people into the city. Barring the occasional bomb blast or the accidental flood, we have seen virtually no crime save a few rapes and some silly murders.

In fact, Mumbai is looking forward to a great future. We have just inaugurated the costliest bridge in all of Asia (by way of toll costs too) . We consume the least power in the country (As we don’t have it for the better part of the day!) Our airport (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj International Airport) is undergoing renovation, so is our railway station (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Terminus) and our museum (Chhatrapati Shivaji Maharaj Vaastu Sanghralaya) is already a Grade I heritage structure. In some years, we will have a statue of Maharaj in the middle of the Arabian sea. It is rumoured to be taller than the Statue of Liberty itself. Contrary to popular perception, it is not a lavish indulgence on part of the Government, but it is a clever ploy to attract more tourists from the sea. (Accidental pun # 2)

Coming back to the main topic, that ungrateful Karan Johar will lose out on Rs.160 as I am not going to watching a movie which ‘hurt’ my sentiments. Besides, the entire movie does not feature a single Marathi actor and the dialogue writer was some South Indian half-wit who dared to refer to Mumbai as Bombay. Do we call his city Madras or Trivandrum?

Our Tiger Cub saved Karan Johar from our Beloved Leader’s wrath and Karan Johar rightfully paid obeisance to Mr. Cub and accepted his mistake. Cub Sir has dared people to use the tabooed word again and face dire consequences! Chota Cub Sir though, studies in Bombay Scottish. Cruel twist of fate.

Cub Sir’s secret obsession is to rename Bombay Times, the only problem is that they are too powerful for Cub Sir’s liking!!