Are you on your deathbed Sir?
I heard that you’re dying of old age. Please, Sir please tell me this is not true because if it is, then I swear Bombay will burn. Yes, Bombay will burn, bhaiyyas will be beaten up, we’ll throw out some Muslims & Madrasis, molest some women and tear down a couple of Archies’ and McDonald’s for good measure.
I cannot believe it, Sir! It seems like it was only yesterday that you set Bombay on fire with your fiercely communal speeches. I was a kid back in ‘92 and I thoroughly enjoyed all the holidays that I got because of your frequent bandhs (My father used to grumble about missing office though!) Not me. I revered you for bringing out the bile in the poor, working class people. Your opposition to the Valentines’ day celebration on grounds that it was poisoning our minds was legendary too!
And of course who can forget your act of transforming the city of maximum debauchery, Sins and Migrants to a cultural hotbed of jingoism, narrow mindedness & hatred by simply renaming it! You speeches were so awesome. You used to mimic your rivals in such a wicked manner. You pointed out the flaws in the ruling party so well. It’s a different matter that you never said what you’d do if elected. I still loved your speeches. I used to envision an India under your rule and I used to shudder sorry, I used to get goose bumps!
I’ll miss you so much. I made a living out of hating you and making fun of you. If you die you’ll be relegated to a second grade portrait in future SS gatherings.
I so wish you live another five years! Your health is so poor that you cannot threaten the Pakistani team anymore if they come to play in Bombay. Or threaten me for using the forbidden ‘B’ word. It’s such a pity that you cannot enjoy the millions and zillions which you too, embezzled.
I’d humbly request you to slog it out for another five years. So that your party does not come to power on votes given out of sympathy. You can then watch the wretch you call a son squander all your ‘good’ work. Besides, it’d be easier to believe in God if he extends your miserable life.
I know you have only hours if not weeks left.. but I sincerely hope.. pray that your misery continues..
A gleeful Indian