Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Troll’s tale..! :D

        I am going through one of those phases in life where nothing ever goes right. This is more in context to The Office. We are out of training and it is time to perform. It is needless to say that I am not making my Trainer proud by my performance. My performance is so pathetic that often I wonder how The Company hasn’t issued a troll alert against my name yet. That hasn’t lifted my spirits, in fact my dispiritedness has been augmented by the fact that two of my best buddies have outperformed everybody by a margin and it makes me stick out like a sore thumb between them. What hardly helps matters is that the only guy who could’ve matched my troll-ishness has left the company. So now I am lonely as well.  And I have all the more reason to miss him.

                    When The Trainer appraises us of our performance and reminds me what a moron I have been, I look around to see the Winners look at me with surprise at my inability to meet such a ridiculously easy target. I then turn to fellow morons who try to alleviate my embarrassment by attributing the Winners’ performance entirely to luck.

           Today, I was pretty worked up to do something at The Office. I had to endure another of The Trainer’s motivational speeches last night. If not for anything else, I wanted to do well so that I could escape my trainer’s accidental brushes with intelligence.

                           I managed to do well until Miss Shanghai called up. Miss Shanghai was on a three way call with Miss 1942 and wanted me to help Miss 1942 place an order. I was in a great mood and I went out of the way to help her place the order. After all, good customer service is my forte! Once I had finished placing the order, I was required to read a set of disclosures. I went through them blithely. Miss 1942 was in a hurry. I had to coax her to sit and listen to my blabbering as she was required to accept them. I tried to be as good humoured as possible. Finally, I was through with them and I was smiling broadly for having done an excellent job! I finally wouldn’t have to bear with The Trainer’s droning at the end of the day!

   I was just about to pat my back, when I hear Miss Shanghai’s voice over the phone. Apparently, they continued talking and were unaware of my presence.

Whew, We’re done finally! He took a long time..!” said Miss Shanghai.

“Yeah, and I wonder why, of all the people in the world only I had to endure this moron?” Replied Miss 1942. And she went on to perform a very nasty imitation of me.

And if you would have seen the expression on my face then, you could have seen what a deflating tyre looks like!! :D

19 Grumblings:

siddhesh said...

Hehe...nice narration....your are really able to potray your thoughts into symphony of words....nice going

Nics said...

Oh my god! What a bitch! I'm really surprised at the fact that when majority of the population in the U.S is so retarded, how are they one of the 'developed' countries!!
Very well written! Don't bother yourself too much with the 'trash-talk' of lesser mortals (God, that’s mean! Even by my standards!)
I'd be laughing my ass off if I was present there to witness that expression on your face, though I can still close my eyes and picture the headset in your ears and your appalled face....
It is hilarious!

ayyo.... said...

@Siddhesh
Thanks.. thanks..! :)


@Nicol
I never thought about it..! Yeah, how is the US a developed country?! :D :P
Haha! That was mean! Though she deserves it.. my face was burning..! What killed me was Miss Shanghai commenting on my english..! :D
Yeah, I was happy that the moment went unnoticed..!

Anonymous said...

its just a way of life yaar.sometimes it shovels shit on your face and you may never know what lies ahead.
by the way,i would have loved to see that expression on your face.

ayyo.... said...

@Anon
I don't mind it..! It's just that I got to know what my customers say about me after they're done with the call..! :D :D
Yeah, I know you would have loved the expression..
But who are you?? And why Anonymous?!

ayyo.... said...

@Nicol
Now that I read my reply again.. I realise what a bum have I been..! It is so evident whom you were referring to as the 'Lesser Mortal' (Which , incidentally, is meaner... and a 'scathing remark' as you would say!)
Talk about subtlety..! :D

Nics said...

Well, I admire your language proficiency, so a retarded American (Chinki) immitating you is really scandalising considering that she doesn't get close to your toe-nail!
Now, tell me, which is more scatching? LOL...

ayyo.... said...

Well, it is a mutual admiration..! Aww, I'm touched .. I don't find it scathing..! :D :P

Sikander Fayyaz Khan said...

I can't explain how this post of your reminds me of my time when I was doing my BBA. I was exactly like that, but somehow I managed to drag my ass through and passed with a CGPA I cannot dare to reveal.

The Sleeping Dragon said...

oh dear, oh dear! perhaps you should have just replied with a "the moron is still here, btw", correct her english and find out the reaction! That would be hilarious :D
i'm tickled with how you wrote on the post. nicely expressive! :)

ketki said...

m trying to imagine ur expression...
lik a flat tyre...
he he he...

ayyo.... said...

@Siku
Hahahaha..! A CGPA you'd dare not reveal would be more than 7.5 on a scale of 10..! :D :D


@The Sleeping Dragon
Hahaha..! I could have shot some scathing repartees of my own..In fact, I almost retorted involuntarily... then I was reminded of my misery and I chose to shut my trap..! :D

ayyo.... said...

@Ketki
Well, if you want to see 'that' expression live.. observe me when Prof. Bhide would ask me a question..! :D

kunwar said...

Lol Ayyo bhai, happens with me all the time, My friends have always outperformed me :P Well in academics i.e and that's what seems to bother most of the people who matter. I had once cleared Mathemagic, an advanced Math test and my teacher was all praises for me. I had to go to the staff room to do an errand for someone when I heard the same teacher say that she had to deliberately pass me because no other child was interested in performing at the inter school level. I was like, WTF bitch.

Sikander Fayyaz Khan said...

Ayyo

No man, not even close to that figure. But I had my reasons. May be will tell you someday if I found you interested enough :p

ayyo.... said...

@Kunwar
Hahaha..! That must've really pissed you off...! :D
Yeah, my friends have also outperformed me everytime..!!

@Sikander
I'd really like to know..! Please tell me when you fell like it..! :)

meerasworld said...

a pat on your back,it's okay:)

ayyo.... said...

@Meera
Thanks!! What was the pat for, btw?! :D

meerasworld said...

the pat was saying its okay let the morons talk what they want,dont feel bad;).my 'pat on the back' has a different meaning than its normal meaning u seee:)